Hip Hop Trio Kneecap | Guidelines for Cross cultural dialogue |
Friends,
Easter leaves me full of hope. Each year I feel its the "real" start of the church year as we imagine the early church, and how we can be church in new ways.
Having the opening processional for Easter worship be an adaptation of the opening Hadestown, with Christ the Lord is Risen today interwoven, really helped.
Liz
Creating and Easter Community
Creating community requires finding a way to be with each other. In the early church churches included a wide diversity of people--people who previously were beggars, people with disabilities, people who had been healed, people who were funding the others.
Each church had its own particular group of believers, specific to their context. Thus we have four disparate gospels, and many letters from Paul and others, addressing the different needs of each community.
The upcoming weeks will explore the stories we have--first the different ways people responded to the resurrected Christ, and then the successes and challenges of the early church. All of this is assistance for us in creating a church that effectively becomes the body of Christ.
To add to our scriptural witness, I would like to add some guidelines for cross cultural dialogue. These are from VISONS, Inc.
- Try on
- It's OK to disagree
- It's not OK to blame, shame or attack ourselves or others
- Practice self-focus
- Notice Both Process and Content
- Practice Both/And thinking
- Be aware of both the intent and impact of your actions
- Confidentiality.
I'll note that these are not really rules, they are practices. We can't do these perfectly, but we can develop habits so that we do them more often. When facing a tough issue, these guidelines can be used to help tease out the next step forward.
The goal to "Try On" asks us to open minded and curious about what others think. When listening, to spend our time trying to understand their idea, rather than to be thinking of the best arguments against their viewpoint. We try on other's positions in the same way we try on a coat--if it doesn't fit, we take it off, but we are open to the possibility that it will right.
Once we've tried on an idea, we can decide that we disagree with it, or disagree with a part of it. In fact the goal is not to come to unanimity, but rather to appreciate the way that we are different. As a congregation, we want to learn to see the ways we disagree as strengths rather than weaknesses.
As we disagree, it is important that we do not "shame, blame, or attack". Appreciating difference requires that we do not mark those that are different as wrong, and especially we do not shame them for their viewpoint. One thing that is difficult as well is avoiding shaming or blaming ourselves.
In some ways "practice self-focus" is about using "I" language. We do not speak for others, nor use the somewhat universal "we". Speak for yourself. But self-focus is more than that. It includes listening to what our bodies and hearts are telling us about the feelings that arise as we try to engage with others. It is knowing when we've had too much and taking a break. It is making sure that I am learning rather than asking if someone else is learning.
Noticing both content and process is great in trainings: you are attending to both the content, and also the strategy for teaching the content. This can be used in the face of conflict as well. Listen for what someone's words means, but also the way they express themselves, the emotions that may be underlying the words. Using self-focus, do the same for yourself--I have something to say and I need to be careful about how I say it. This guidelines is about both thoughts and feelings.
We live in an either/or culture, and the distinctions between us have become pushed to the extreme. It is important in building community to practice both/and thinking. Two disparate things really can be true at the same time. It is especially important to avoid identifying all things as either right or wrong. Ask instead what works in one idea, and what works in another. Ask how our life-contexts might have resulted in one direction, or another. Always consider that we both could be correct.
In our actions, what we do has both our intention, which is an interior thought, and our impact, which is how what we have done is experienced by others. Both matter. A friend's mother ran over her daughter's foot on her wedding morning. Obviously mom did not intend to hurt her daughter, but the good intention did not make the pain any less. When someone describes their hurt, you can mention your good intention, but apologize also for the hurt. When you feel hurt, you can ask for an apology because of the impact, but try to understand the intention as well.
Confidentiality is not something a workshop leader can promise, but they can request it! When doing the work of learning to be in community together, it is fine, even desirable, to share the ways you have grown from the work. Confidentiality requires that you do not tell other people's stories. Let each person own their own narrative.
These guidelines are not the solution to every problem, but they can be a way to reach much more deeply into our connections to each other. Try them on!
What does our church do to deepen the sense of community? How is connecting to people who are different a part of the resistance to today's divisions? Reply to this email to let me know what's happening.
Vigorous Interventions in Ongoing Natural Settings, Inc. (VISIONS, Inc.), offers inexpensive online workshops on the guidelines.
How to find beauty and heaven in the midst of ordinary life. The Belfast Hip Hop Trio Kneecap. (3:23)
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