Non-profit fundraising | Book: Gratitude
Friends,
I am not feeling thankful right now. I'm annoyed at the system, and at myself. I turn 65 in January and so need to choose my medicare plan. But I managed to wait until everyone is changing plans to do the research.
No one is answering their phones, the chat function is not helpful, the sales people trying to sell me their plans seem to have forgotten me. I'm in a funk.
But hopefully in funk with a beautiful Tuesday snow day.
-Liz
Alternative Ideas for Thankfulness
I was staff one day a week at Rainbow Place homeless shelter at Rockville Presbyterian Church in Maryland. I supervised volunteer cooks who provided dinner, visited with the women, and put out cold breakfast in the morning.
Early on a volunteer cook let me know that she was leaving, never to return. "They aren't grateful! And they should be cooking their own food." I mumbled about health codes. She has stuck with me for ever.
It is not all that weird that she felt that way. Perhaps weird that she said it out loud. But that is how we understand thanks. The people who have extra (time, wealth, things) give, and the people with a shortage give thanks to the giver. The receivers feel gratitude, and the givers feel.... what? Proud?
We need another way. Other ways.
Spend time thanking yourself!
Who better to recognize the hard work you have done for self-improvement? Who better to know the effort you have put in? I'm thankful for the education I received, and that I put in enough to have learned something. I'm thankful for therapy, and the learned skills to shut up my monkey brain.
I have muscles! For that I offer thanks to year-ago-me that decided to join the YMCA--and to actually go. I am grateful for the wisdom that comes with old age.
Notice and be Thankful for Good Systems
I spend a lot of time complaining that the system doesn't work. (See my note about medicare, above!) And honestly there is a great deal wrong with the system. But there are systems created in science that have made it so I can survive with asthma. There are improvements to surgical procedures so that they didn't need to cut me open to get my gall bladder out. There are penicillin and antibiotics and mood stabilizers.
Humans have learned to cook food, build homes, create warmth in cold areas and cold in warm areas. Recently women's dresses have grown pockets. Wool kilts are beautiful and practical. Silk Saris are gorgeous.
There are a million things wrong with modern farming, but we have boosted production by massive amounts, and thus the planet can feed as many people as we have. We know how to clean polluted water and how to reduce pollution in the air. We, human beings, stopped destroying the ozone layer.
Be thankful for the systems we get right, and consider those as models for how to imagine new systems where we are not doing as well.
Strive for Spiritual Poverty
Spiritual Poverty includes the idea that we trust God to provide for us. And amazingly, this world provides very well. God intends that bounty to be distributed equitably among us. When it is not, God's people are called to action.
Thus, at the shelter, and in our community, those who receive charity deserve to have enough. No tests, no qualifications, and no thanks required. Our thanks go to the God who made the abundance.
To be sure I'm in favor of social graces--its good to say thank you when someone gives you something, But not thanks, now I'm indebted to you forever. I grew up saying thanks for passing the butter! Thanks for stepping out of my way when I'm carrying packages. Thanks is the grease of human interaction, well worth the time, but not creating an obligation for reciprocal action.
Similarly, the giver is not taking from their own bounty, they are helping to redistribute God's resources. No pride. Just following God's plan. In this case the giver then might find themselves thankful that they have enough to share. Thankful to God that there is plenty in this world, and that they get to be part of the redistribution network.
Mary Oliver suggests "you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting" (Wild Geese). Rather, you with excess, give. You with less, receive your share.
Then we gather together to thank God for their bounty.
What are your thanks this season? Reply to this email to let me know what's happening.
NonprofitAF.com is a blog about non-profit fundraising. It asks how we can be less racist, less power-broker, less hierarchical, and suggests ways that funders can be more about changing the world. This article suggests funders spend less time asking to be thanked.
For a subversive approach to thanks, check out Diana Butler Bass's book Gratitude.
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