The Song Worthy | Learning from our Mistakes |

Friends,

I'm headed off to the New England Quilt Week in Hartford Connecticus with a friend. I hope to immerse myself in beauty while continuing to pray we will not escalate this war.

Pray for peace.

-Liz

Thomas takes Risks

After No Kings III I heard a lot of analysis arguing mostly that either protests don't work (despite the evidence they do) or that protests aren't enough (which no one claimed they were). Notice how I need to reassure you, dear reader, that I know what's wrong with my statements. Because otherwise I would feel stupid.

Can I just say, that I would never be as stupid as Thomas.? I mean, I totally would doubt that Jesus was resurrected. And I would think all the things Thomas thought. I just wouldn't say it out loud!

Because I would be afraid to do so.

Am I afraid of dying or of being hurt or even of being thrown out by my friends? No. I'm afraid of being embarrassed. Fear of being wrong. That internal fear of being shamed. My face gets hot even to bring up this topic.

We live in a culture that perpetuates the myth that giving the wrong answer or making a mistake is shameful, even though nothing could be further from the truth. Extensive research in educational settings suggests that trying out a wrong problem solving strategy leads to learning more than being told and repeating a correct solution. Students who were confidently wrong remember the correct answer more than those who just guessed. Regretting a mistake, and repairing the damage, results in more respect than simply doing it right in the first place.

To do all of those things, to permit myself mistakes, I must figure out how avoid letting fear of failure stop me. I need to somehow believe what is true: trying a wrong approach is a valuable step toward finding an approach that works.

I have a million arguments against this. In racial justice work I might, or rather, I do, say the wrong thing fairly often. That hurts people. Engaging in protests that are not solving real problems wastes time that could have been spent on something else. (I have more excuses if you need them.)

To be honest, both of these excuses are not as strong as what really keeps me from action: I will be embarrassed if I do it wrong. It will show that I am not the person I claim to be. The person I want to be.

How do I get over this fear of mistakes? I suggest two things: 1) Practice, 2) Remember past mistakes. Gah! I'm trying to forget them!

The fact is if you can get yourself to keep saying out loud what might be right, you will find that you make even more mistakes. If you listen then to the reaction of others you will learn to correct your mistakes. It's not practice makes perfect, it is practice makes it easier to try again. And again. And again. Notice each time the feeling in your body, but notice also that you are not dead. You are not ostracized by everyone. You are not unusual in your mistakes.

And while you are practicing making mistakes, you will find some right answers. And then the next time you make a mistake, you can remember back when you said something wrong, and eventually learned it correctly. Remembering the growth you've had in the past will help to reassure you that jumping in often leads to correction, and correction often leads to new knowledge. It will remind you that mistakes rarely are catastrohpic.

The goal is to be like Thomas. Just say what you are thinking. Be courageous and make mistakes. I'm certain Thomas never forgot the experience of facing the resurrected Jesus with his mistakes.

What is your church doing, or thinking about doing these days? How are you being here in your particular place? Just reply to this email to let me know what's happening. ​
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EduTopia on the power of learning from our mistakes.

For honest, rough music, one of my favorites is Mary Gauthier. Here is her song "Worthy". We are worthy, indeed, mistakes and all.

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